Just

every word matters

Botanical Fantasy

I descended from my studio aerie the other day after having painted for a few hours. My sweetheart asked what I had been working on, and I distractedly replied, “Oh, I was just using up paint that was left on my palette from my last painting”.

Holy Argumentative Adverbs, did I open up and ignite a buffet-sized sterno can of discussion!

I said “just”. I just said “just”!

I said “just” as in only, not as in recently or fairly.

As in, “oh, I just cured cancer”, or “oh, it’s just a nuclear explosion”.

Had I been more thoughtful and expansive, I would have said something like: “Being the thrifty sort of woman that I am, and given the cost of paint, I decided to use up what was left on my palette as a base coat, or first layer, on a canvas to use in a later painting”. But nooooo, I gave a dismissive wave of my hand and said what I said because, in my mind, I had simply performed a routine task; I had not set out to make a major work, a “real” painting. Like this one:

Cherish the Moment

(There’s a whole story I have to tell about this painting, but I will save it for next time)

From the sweetheart’s perspective, I was denigrating my work by using a diminishing word like “just”, and he let me know in very specific language why it was important for me to value the work that I do (I do!) and speak about it in terms that reflect that.

We are both word people: I am a voracious reader (and tend to be loquacious) and he is a retired attorney, where precise language was an absolute imperative for a successful career. Words matter.

How could I throw away all that loveliness?

I’m sorry, I just feel like I didn’t really, actually diminish my work!

Do you see what I did there? With every qualifier I used, I made my statement weaker and weaker. Women do this much more often than men (there are studies). I was very much aware of it when I was working in a male dominated organization/industry, and I made conscious effort to avoid doing it to myself. Women have a tough enough time being given equal opportunity to verbally express themselves when there are men in the room (there are lots of studies about this, too) without self-sabotaging with the words we use. But, moving on….

Anyway, he wasn’t completely wronnng…

After much discussion and then thought on my part, I came to understand that every bit of what I do to support the actual painting contributes to the end results and should be valued right along with that fun and creative part. And there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes. Prepping canvases, under-painting, selecting and buying supplies, varnishing, framing, building boxes to ship things in, shipping, marketing, entering shows and shlepping work to and from them, website design and maintenance, even these Substack posts: it all matters to the final product and should be respected and held in the same esteem as the finished work.

To top it all off, the image at the beginning of this post is the one that started the whole discussion. It turns out that I wasn’t “just” using up what was left on my palette”; it turned into a real painting in and of itself, only I didn’t know at the time that I was beginning something that would interest and excite me, and that I would work it through to completion.

In the end, it wasn’t “just”. It was way more. So, pay attention to what comes out yo mouth! I will be.

Also, both of these paintings are available. Inquire within.

I appreciate you connecting with me here and supporting me in my creative journey.